W H A T

Weird Olympic Reporting

Why “weird?” Because we’re showing you “normal” people doing the things so that you can finally see just how totally amazing the “real” athletes are.

W H E R E

Worldwide

well, I mean, we aren’t going to every country or anything like that - but it’ll all be on the internet, so that’s pretty much the same thing, you know?

W H E N

Now! Soon! 2024!

We’re ready to dive in immediately with results from past events, and then will keep creating super entertaining content for you leading up to the next Summer Olympics and beyond!

WE ARE FINALLY DOING WHAT THE INTERNET HAS DEMANDED FOR YEARS

Every 2-4 years, when the Olympics come around, social media lights up with a wish for “just one regular person” in each event to make it obvious just how amazing the world’s best athletes really are. Like, obviously we know the marathon runners are fast… but if you watched them cross the finish line, catch their breath, do an interview, get a bite to eat, and then watch a feature-length film before moseying back to the finish line just as the “normal” person crossed the finish line? Yeah. Suddenly it’s crazy obvious just how fast they really are.

So… picture that, but not just the marathon. Satisfying, right?!

Since doing Olympic reporting this way full time would essentially make us professional athletes, just without the skill level you’d expect from someone who’s a pro athlete, we’ll be the World’s Worst Professional Athletes - AKA (Un)professional athletes. heh heh heh

That’s what we’re up to. Not only that, but we’ll need your help (yes you!).
Fun idea: what if you could tell your friends and family that you are literally a professional athlete? Or what if you could give that title to someone as a gift this holiday season?!
We’re planning a Kickstarter to spread the word that someone’s finally doing the fun/funny/dumb/awesome thing that people have been demanding in tweets and Pinterest boards and reddit threads for years, and long story short: we’re going to make it possible for you to join us in a way that you can call yourself a professional athlete - no matter whether you’re pursuing a personal record doing ultramarathons, or you get winded walking to the mailbox a bit faster than normal. We’re all about the fact that “normal” is a super broad idea.

Sound fun? We’re a lot easier to keep up with than Olympic athletes (ha ha): just type in your name and email below and we’ll keep you in the loop about upcoming content and opportunities to be a part of what we’re building.

Here’s to the “normies!”

Anyone can keep up with US!
Let us keep you in the loop with what we’re making and show you how you can join: